I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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