I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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