I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize