just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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