After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
