That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
