No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
