too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
