My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
