If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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