I'm eating all of the evidence.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Its about making memories worth repressing
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
