My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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