and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
