Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she peed on how many people?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize