I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
