So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
