i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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