I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
