i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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