Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize