Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
