After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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