just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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