don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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