Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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