my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
