My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
where does the pee come out of this thing
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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