I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize