i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You ate ashes out of my bong
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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