Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
