You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
