so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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