dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
