Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
