I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
