evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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