how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
