I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
