redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
