how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
