Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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