i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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