I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
