Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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