pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
