Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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