2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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