Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
