Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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