haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
