My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
