I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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