Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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