its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so let's talk penis.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
