You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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