You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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