you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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