i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
