God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
