Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
